This autobiographical poetry collection reflects the vulnerability and resilience of a queer existence. Through deeply personal experiences, it explores identity, love, and the social constraints imposed on non-normative bodies.Author Subhi/Suvradeep B weaves ordinary moments into extraordinary reflections, challenging societal norms. The work is both intimate and universal, inviting readers into a space of empathy and self-discovery. It is a poetic refuge, where personal struggles become collective understanding.
- What draws you to poetry as a medium, and how does it uniquely allow you to convey emotions and ideas?
Poetry is the play of words. Across generations, poets have grappled with experiences too complex to be captured in ordinary sentences. Poetry becomes a refuge—a place to find meaning when words fail, where ordinary expressions can reflect deeply personal emotions. It allows one to cross boundaries, connecting with nature, and for some, even the divine. While I cannot claim to be well-versed in all poets, I have found that for many, their poems serve as a refuge—not a privilege, but a space to settle into themselves and connect with worlds beyond. - Could you share what inspires your poems and how that shapes their tone and structure?
For a long time, I had few resources to nurture my existence as a young queer individual growing up in suburban West Bengal. In a country where trans individuals are often ridiculed, stigmatized, or feared, it was difficult to find any sense of connection with others like me. Within my family, femininity was pre-defined and constrained by socially constructed roles. As a child, I often said, “Mai na ladka, na ladki, mai bich ki”—I am neither boy nor girl, I am in-between. This collection stems from that realization: that I exist somewhere between imposed categories, societal norms, and my own unknown identity. Rooted in love—my first experience of living a queer life—this collection developed over a decade as I tried to understand the grammar of gender. Though I have yet to fully grasp it, in this process, I discovered love for someone, for myself, and for my challenges. My collection begins with the first recognition of a queer feeling—love—and evolves as my tone shifts from crafting musical poetry to embracing the poetry of love itself. - Poetry often leaves room for interpretation—how do you balance expressing your intentions while allowing readers their own meanings?
A dear mentor once told me that poetry speaks for itself. While I could not remove the personal undertone from my collection, I reminded myself of those words and allowed it to have its own queer personality. To claim that I have perfectly balanced intention and interpretation would be an exaggeration. My aim was to present the discomfort I felt with everyday life, shaped by societal regulations. Readers may not always relate to this discomfort, but I invite them to consider the hesitation or refusal it represents. My former students often remarked that poetry allows for subjective interpretation, and I intentionally encouraged readers to engage with the ordinary in a more sensitive and thoughtful way. - How do you approach the musicality of language in your poetry, and what effect does it have on readers’ experiences?
I am not sure how to respond, as for me poetry is more an experience of emotion than craftsmanship. I draw inspiration from our queer godmother, Audre Lorde: for the silenced, poetry is not a privilege but a refuge, emerging from minds told they are invalid or unnatural. In my work, musicality is often interrupted, then resumes in other parts, reflecting this lived experience. This is not to say poetry lacks technique. I work within the language that once ridiculed my existence, and the musicality arises from the interruptions, twists, and personal reshaping I bring to it. - In what ways does your personal journey influence the themes and imagery in your poems?
This collection was conceived at a time when I had no vocabulary to present myself to the world. Poetry became the only avenue where metaphors and imagery could be my companions. I did not fully identify, but I spoke, I uttered. My journey as a young trans individual has profoundly shaped my perception of literature broadly, and poetry in particular. Coming from a small town without a rich literary tradition, I lacked a vast constellation of references to draw upon. This sometimes led to repetition of familiar images and phrases—but gender itself is a familiar concept, and I have re-used, recycled, and reimagined it for my purposes. Ordinary experiences—anxiety, marriage, love, friendship, dysphoria—became extraordinary because society often refused to recognize them. Through these experiences, I connect with others whose lives are similarly marginalized. Once, I was told that my identity does not define what I bring into the world; this work is my way of showing that my identities are the logs with which I build my life’s boat to navigate the world.
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